In His Embrace
by mysticxf
Summary: Sawyer returns, much to Kate’s chagrin. Way Post “Exodus pt 2”.


Lost belongs to JJ Abrams and crew, borrowing for some non-profit fun. Sawyer returns, much to Kate's chagrin. Way Post "Exodus pt 2". Enjoy!

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Lost – In His Embrace  
By Mystic  
June 8th 2005

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Something about the way his muscles pressed into her back made her angry. Kate's grip tightened on the bamboo tree in front of her as she listened to the howl somewhere very nearby. She was hugging it, feeling blisters forming on her hands from her fear. But the hot breath in her ear, the warm sweaty cheek pressed against her own made her dig her right foot into the ground, pushing up dirt.

_He'd shown up with that grin spreading like she was a birthday cake and he was five years old. "Well, if it ain't Kate the Great. I been to the caves, they're talkin' all sorts of heroics 'bout you." Kate had walked away from him, rolling her eyes and stomping her feet, trying to display her lack of want for a companion, but he'd followed anyways._

A tree nearby came out of the ground, splattering her with mud and Kate closed her eyes, feeling a sound squeak past her throat as she winced, waiting. It was too close. It howled again and something mechanical gurgled through. It was a sound she would remember for the rest of her life if they were rescued. It was a fear that would never be duplicated. Not even if she were placed on an electric chair or had an IV injecting death juice into her arm.

_"What, I ain't welcome anymore, Freckles?" He'd asked._

"Aw God," his voice was deep and rough now as he pushed against her, wanting to get as far into the nest of trees they'd run into for cover as he could. She wondered if he realized he was crushing her. Kate wondered if he cared. She was having a hard time breathing, between the fear and him smothering her. The tree she held shook violently and she shouted, feeling his arm wrap around her midsection and pull her away, towards another corner. Her back pressed into him now and she understood. She didn't dare look up, she just kept stepping back into him, her foot occasionally stepping on his.

_"Dammit, woman, at least look at me!" It was the desperation on his voice that had made her turn and stop. Kate took in the bandage over his shoulder, saw the distress on his face. The longing for a forgiveness she had already given him. He'd explained, she'd nodded her head and pursed her lips and then began to walk away again. _

Her chest trembled as silence returned to the jungle, but she kept her eyes shut. His left hand was marking her waist and his right hand was white-knuckled on her right shoulder. Kate opened her eyes and stared down at her feet, which had found the strength to stop moving. She tried to move, but his death grip didn't leave her. She realized she was rocking back and forth on his breath. She could feel the lose curls on the back of her neck moving, tickling her ear.

_His grip on her arm was like steel and she shouted in pain, in fear and he'd released her with wide eyes. Kate stumbled away from him and had just pressed her hand against a tree trunk, regaining her composure, when it pulled out of the ground and howled above her. Kate took off and she felt Sawyer's hand on her backpack. Her arms stretched back, abandoning the object as she ran straight into a nest of trees. Sawyer followed, slamming her against the trees with his body as whatever was in the jungle shook the ground._

"Sawyer, let go of me!" She growled at him.

The man didn't move. She glanced back to see he'd started staring up, through the tops of the trees. For the first time, Kate realized rain was falling down on them, drenching them both. She looked up at his face, at the wild look in his eyes and the fear there, a fear she'd never seen before. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but it tightened and his eyes lowered to meet hers. They glowered at her angrily.

"Sawyer! Let! Me! Go!" This time she elbowed him in the gut and his fingers released her as he doubled over, the air leaving his lungs. Kate stepped away from him and turned, planting her hands on her waist. She winced; he'd been holding her so hard. She opened her eyes and saw he had his hands on his knees and was swaying slightly. "Sawyer?" She asked, her voice wavering.

He didn't speak, but the look he tossed her shocked her. She leaned against the tree opposite him and waited until he stood straight, pressing the back of his head against the thick hollow bamboo rod behind him. He was still heaving – from the fear or her elbow, she didn't know. She pursed her lips and creased her eyebrows with guilt. Then she found herself scowling at him. She was just as scared as he was.

Glancing around at the jungle, she stepped out into it and began walking back towards the beach. It was just safer at the beach, she told herself over and over. She heard him huff out a breath and the trees creaked from the lack of his weight as he pushed off and came after her.

"Hey! We wasn't done."

"Yes, we were," Kate snapped back. She slammed her feet against the ground more heavily than necessary and she heard him just before he grabbed her arm. Her body told her to kick him, to lift her leg and plant it in his gut and send him to the ground, but her mind stopped her and she let him grab her arm and yank her back around to face him. For a moment she found herself wincing, waiting for a slap that didn't come and she noticed the silence. Her eyes opened and he had a soft look on his face. She couldn't read it. Confusion?

Sawyer's hand dropped heavily against his thigh as he looked away, to the ground, and he told her, "Only time I ever saw a woman wince like that's when she's expectin' to get hit."

Kate huffed. "I'd kick your ass." She crossed her arms over her chest and lowered her eyebrows, angry at herself for not turning around and walking away.

Laughing, Sawyer nodded his head. "I believe you, Freckles. But it begs the question, why you expectin' to get hit?"

"I don't have time for this bullshit," she growled back, letting her arms drop before finding her backpack and pulling it back on.

"Don't like the personal questions, do you?" He asked with that cocky grin of his, letting his head fall just slightly to the left, just enough for his hair to fall across his face.

Kate turned. "What do you want, Sawyer? A medal? You tried to play the hero; you failed. You got your ass shot and marooned back on the island you so desperately needed to get away from. And now you wanna come back and play games with me like you didn't rat me out, like you didn't pit them all against me?" She took a second to frown at him. "Sorry, Sawyer, I don't like playing games." Kate told him with a shake of her head.

"No, you just don't like playing games you won't win!" He spat.

She shook her head again in dismissal and walked away, but this time he left a distance between them. Kate was tempted to turn back every few feet, but she didn't. She listened to his steps; listened to his breath; listened to the trees around them for the howling that would force her to run back into a hiding place, back into his arms. She hated him. Kate shook her head, she didn't. She couldn't. He was too like her to hate.

Grimacing angrily, Sawyer shouted, "God, woman, what in the hell made you like this?"

"Like what?" She asked quietly, tired of fighting.

Sawyer shrugged his shoulders. "Stubborn, angry… scared."

She could tell he was testing her with the last one. It came out in a question more than a statement and she knew by the way she froze when he said it, she failed the test. So what if she was scared. Kate knew lots of people who were scared. The image of his terrified face staring up at the trees came back into her mind.

"What made you the way you are, Sawyer?" She asked calmly. "Stupid, masochistic…"

"Whoa, whoa, I ain't masochistic!" He held his hands up and she stopped, a smile playing on her face. She hated that he made her smile like that. She turned to look at the perplexed expression on his face.

"Do you even know what that means, Sawyer?" Kate asked with an eye roll.

He grinned sarcastically. "I know what it means, sweet cheeks, and I ain't masochistic. If anyone on this damned island is a masochist, it's you."

"Me?" She pointed at herself.

He raised a hand, a finger jabbing accusingly at her, "You and Doc. Most masochistic people I ever met and with no good reason, or least none that I know of."

"Wanna know my secrets, Sawyer?" Kate cocked her head to the side. "Or you wanna keep guessing in front of the class?"

"I wasn't guessing, you wanted on that boat to run."

She waved her hands and continued walking. "What I want is beyond you, Sawyer."

"That's the second time you call me stupid in five minutes. Maybe you're expectin' to get hit 'cause you're asking for it." His voice was low now, growling from somewhere inside and it sent shivers up Kate's spine.

She stopped again, this time not turning because she knew it would put a dead end to his thought process. Her shoulders lowered in a kind of defeat as she sighed. "What do you want, Sawyer?"

"What I want…" he paused, his voice calm now, "Is beyond you, Kate."

Her head came up and she creased her brow, wanting to look back, but before she could, the man swept past her, his shoulder moving out of the way to avoid touching her. Kate watched him leave, she watched him until she couldn't hear his movement anymore and she felt alone. Swallowing hard, she searched the trees and took a step towards where she knew he was, just beyond the foliage.

Why did she keep going back for more? Abuse? Kate didn't know how to describe her relationship with Sawyer. Was it that? Did she want him to hurt her? Kate closed her eyes and took in a long breath knowing that wasn't it, that couldn't be it. She wasn't asking for it. She opened them, jumping back away from Jack and he laughed at her.

"Meditating?" He asked curiously, that smile still looming on his face. He had sweat trailing down the sides of his face and his forehead was red from the heat.

Kate shook her head, furrowing her brow and regaining her footing. "No." She glanced around. "We shouldn't be here."

Jack shrugged. "Why not?"

"It was just here, five minutes ago. I was heading for the beach." Kate found herself unable to look him in the eye. It was something she used to do when she was a little kid and people asked her a question. She avoided eye contact out of fear. Her father used to stare her down when she was stubborn.

"Kate? You alright?" Jack asked. There was always concern on his voice, Kate noticed, bringing her eyes up to meet his, finding him staring at her. But he was studying her, his eyes looked scared for her.

Kate shook her head and smiled. "I'm good, just, frazzled. It was here…" She looked around, her arms gesturing up at the trees.

Nodding his head, Jack waved an arm, beckoning her to join him and she gave a short laugh, looking away embarrassed. Her arms dropped at her side as Jack lead her towards the caves. He looked back at her and raised his eyebrow quickly, making her smirk and shake her head at him.

"Jack?" She asked him after a few moments.

"Yeah?" He responded, pushing a branch out of the way and holding it away for her.

"Are we masochistic?" She let it slide out of her mouth quickly, afraid if she didn't ask, she'd never ask. She watched the way his expression changed and confusion settled in, then consideration, and he shrugged.

"I guess some people could see it that way."

"But, we don't… you know… just let ourselves be happy."

Jack smiled. "I'm doing pretty good right now." He touched her shoulder gently as they continued walking side by side. "What brought this on?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking. I mean. Maybe," she squinted towards him, "I am."

Slowly nodding his head, Jack looked back on the path they were following and he pressed his lips together. "Sawyer."

"Huh?" She jerked away from him, giving herself away.

"Did he call you masochistic?" Jack asked loudly and Kate could hear the humor on his voice as he tried to look upset. He was trying to make her smile, she understood.

So she did. Then she admitted, "I called him masochistic."

"Masochist," Jack sighed, shaking his head. He smiled at her and then he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think we're masochists, Kate. That would imply searching for pain, usually due to some previous..." he trailed and she lowered her head, searching his eyes.

"Jack?"

He shrugged. "I don't look for pain and I'm pretty sure you don't either."

"Our lives just suck then?" Kate asked, trying to sound cheery, but she came off sarcastic and bitter. "What if I was masochistic?" She asked Jack quietly.

He stopped, his foot pressing into a log in front of him. Planting his hands on his waist, he licked his lips and watched as Kate did the same and rocked on the balls of her feet, not looking him in the eye again.

She bit her bottom lip and shrugged. "What if I am?"

"You're not." He said the words as sure as he would say he was alive and she was a girl and they were in a jungle in the middle of nowhere. He stated the facts, which was what Jack was good for. Kate nodded, but she still didn't believe him. She hated that Sawyer could wound her so deeply so quickly so simply.

His fingers intertwined with hers and her heart raced, her eyes watched as he held her, firmly and she made herself look up at him. Jack dipped forward quickly and captured her lips, kissing her softly. Kate stepped into him and took his other hand, wanting to be as connected to him as she could be. His chest pressed against hers and she felt his tongue explore her mouth curiously. It was how she imagined kissing Jack would be. Careful, but confident; delicate, but precise. Kate felt his fingers slipping away from hers.

"Don't…" she whispered.

"I'm sorry…" he started to say.

"Let go," she finished.

Jack nodded slowly, understanding, and he cupped her face in his hands, pushing his fingers into her hair and smiling. "Ok," he assured her, moving forward again. Kate felt his lips on her forehead this time, warm and moist. She looked up at him, smiling, before laying her head on his chest and letting him wrap himself around her and something about that made her feel safe.

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Finis 


End file.
